Project World Tree: Xenobiological Remediation of Caldari Prime

[CALDARI PRIME. Maintenance drones scurry back and forth across the transparent ecodome of Temperate Command Center LUOSTARI-JO GOGOMO External Exercise Platform Three, checking to ensure that vents properly manage snow accumulation and ice encrustation. Below, cadres of stoic employees wait patriotically for twelve long torso choir boys to finish the State anthem. Deteis with immaculate, identical blond crew cuts lead units of co-workers through calisthenics, chanting "Go Go Go.. GO-GO-MO" in flawless unison.

Inside a command center of brushed steel and gold filigree, astute Deteis with immaculate, identical blond crew cuts monitor logistics and security feeds, tilting their heads in perfect unison to the calisthenic chants. In the corner of one gigantic holo projection, pot-bellied Ealurian Dr. Mheket Straz huffs and puffs down corridors of brushed steel and gold filigree, opening and closing a secure portal with tremendous eagerness.

He enters a chamber of giant ceramic oyster-shaped baths and... gold filigree.

Water cascades from upper baths into lower ones. Virile lycanthropic Sebiestor underwear models flow through prana bindu poses while Ni-Kunni therapists rub them with oil and paint their toenails with meticulous ecclesiastical patterns.]

"Madam!"

[The crone waves from a central bath.]

Mhekkie!

"Madam!" spurts the former Covenant scientist again, "Ms. Ma'chello's Anoikis samples dazzle! No, they amaze!"

Stupendous!

[The pot-bellied Ealurian waves his stubby arms in the air. Bubbling cauldrons of microbial goo dance in projections.]

"Extremotrophs adapted to shattered worlds of ice and stone. Astounding!"

Stupendous!

"Stripped of protection, exposed to the harshest conditions and solar winds, forced to claw existence from clumps of alternatively floating and crushed glop - radiodurans, all. Oh, the secrets they tell! Why, the piezophiles of the ice world generate sustenance from pressure! Itself! Their sublime matrices compress and expand... lightning under glace! Oxygen from water! Nutrients from rotting metals ground into glacial flows. Once we have sufficiently explored the intricate natures of their assembly more fully, they should lay the foundations for our great tree's central nervous system quite well.

"And the autotrophs, how they nibble! I am certain, Madam, certain that - mixing the secrets of those alien landscapes with our work here in this sacred fortress - we shall fold the tritanium oxides and heavy metals right out of that great lake!"

Stupendous!

"Stupendous!" cheer the oiled lycanthropic Sebiestor underwear models.